Reclaiming Home in my Body, Part 2

A few months ago, I set this photo as my profile picture on Facebook and received all kinds of attention, including someone who just said ‘Thank you so much for posting this!’ I acknowledged the thanks but I didn’t fully understand until a close friend pointed out, ‘It’s so funny...no one is saying what they mean. The photo you shared is fierce and powerful because you are showing a part of you that almost everyone else hides.’

And then I understood. I understood and I remembered, because I had once hid it too. For many years after my first pregnancy and through the second and third, I had covered up my belly all year round, abandoning bikinis for more ‘appropriate’ swimwear. Until one day when in a hurry, I had purchased a particularly unflattering one-piece swimsuit. I brought it home, put it on, looked in the mirror, and promptly fell apart.

With tears flowing, I realized that I was losing myself. I was 33 years old with three beautiful, healthy children. I felt like everything around me was saying, ‘You are complete. You did it. You’re done. Your body is used up. Time to hide from now until forever. Don’t attract attention to yourself. Don’t be too sexy. Your body is broken anyway - it should never be exposed. You’re a mom now.’

And then (thank all that is holy) everything in me rose up with a powerful ‘Fuck that shit!’ I searched my storage boxes for a bikini I had bought about ten years earlier. I put it on and headed to the town pool with my family.

And what I discovered was that, while I still felt mildly self-conscious about the stretch marks and softness of my three-times-a-mama belly, I felt so much more at home in my body. As I moved around the public space, I felt vibrant, sexy, alive. I decided then and there that I would love all the parts of my body without fear or shame.

With practice, this became easier and easier until two years later, when I posted this photo of myself in a crop top, I didn’t even remember that it was a radical act. In fact, for me this photo tells a whole different reclaiming story (for another day). But this one. This story is also so important. Because I want you to know and see the process behind the scenes. I want you to see what it took to choose to embrace my imperfections, to acknowledge the stories held in my body, and finally to share them freely.

Reclamation is not a quick fix. Reclamation is a deep, profound, powerful process. It is about integrating all the parts of you and embracing your wholeness. And it takes time and I absolutely could not have done it without consistent support.

So today, I am calling out to anyone on their own path of reclaiming who resonates with this journey I’ve been on. You are worthy of your own love and your own embrace. And you are worthy of support. I would love the honor of reflecting back to you your beauty, your power, and your sovereignty. Send me an email at tam@tam.world if you’re ready and we will get on a call together to find the right path for you.

I love you.