The Wisdom of Little Tam

When I was 5 years old, my aunt brought me to see The Little Mermaid. 

The moment that Ursula the Sea Witch came onto the screen, I got scared. 

As soon as I let my aunt know, she stood up and walked me right out of that theater, back to safety. 

Over 30 years later, I went back to meet that little girl in a visualization, to let her know some things I had learned, and to comfort her. 

I walked down the aisle as she was walking out of theater. I got down to her level, looked her in the eyes and told her these three things:

1. They were telling you untrue stories about your womanhood and your magic. You never have to stay anywhere where they tell you lies about who you are. 

2. It is okay to be scared. You never have to stay anywhere where you feel scared. 

3. If you can’t get out on your own, ask for support. You never have to do it alone. 

And do you know what she said to me??

With a look of disdain and gentle condescension, she said:

‘Yes. 

I know that already. 

That’s why I’m leaving.’

She then proceeded to comfort me as my eyes filled with tears and said: 

‘You forgot for a long time. I’m glad you are remembering now. Don’t forget again.’

This wisdom is also for you:

You never have to stay anywhere where they are telling you lies about who you are. 

You never have to stay anywhere that you feel scared or unsafe. 

If you can’t get out on your own, ask for support. You don’t have to do it alone.

Four months later, I got meet up with her again. And this time as we met, she was so very pleased.

She said to me:

‘Thank you sooooo much. Thank you for creating a life with all the things I love in it: animals and music and art and fires and playing outside in the woods and in the water and friendship and love and magic and children and being naked and wearing whatever I want to wear and feeling safe. Thank you for standing up for yourself and creating safety. Thank you for every time you say, ‘You may not speak to me that way.’ And ‘I am not available for that.’ Thank you. I am so very happy.’

Let me just say - this burst my heart right open and I cried like a grown-ass woman who has access to the fullness of her emotions. Because that conversation right there made it all worth it - all the learning, growing, healing, shedding, stepping out in the faith, facing my shadows, questioning my beliefs, choosing with intention every step of the way. To know that the deepest, youngest, tenderest part of me is happy and safe was everything.

And I am starting to see what I have to offer you all more clearly each day.

Here it is:

If you are at the brink of a massive transition, a new chapter. If your wisdom is calling you forwards in a new direction and it feels like your next step is to step right off a cliff into the void and just trust, I have been there. I know what it takes to actually take that next step and the next and the next.

I had powerful supporters holding space for me and now I am ready to offer you the same. I will show you how to be present for the full spectrum of emotions that come up, the demons that reach out to snatch you back, and the fears that threaten to paralyze you. I will show you how to create safety so you can really experience the joy that fills you to overflowing, the bliss that explodes your heart, and the pleasure that runs like electricity through your entire body.

You get to have it all, to be fully alive, to create a life that makes your inner child want to laugh and run and jump and play and be so so happy. I am here to walk alongside you as your guide, as the catalyst for your next transformation, as a powerful presence inspiring you towards your truth.

If you are looking for a fierce, powerful, radically gentle, loving coach, I just might be the one for you. Send me an email to tam@tam.world with ‘I’m interested.’ and I will ask you some simple, potent questions to see if we are a good fit.